Regrets
by Ember Lee
Summary: A visit out of the blue. Songfic


**Someone like you**

_I heard__  
><em>_That you're settled down__  
><em>_That you__  
><em>_Found a girl__  
><em>_And you're__  
><em>_Married now__  
><em>_I heard__  
><em>_That your dreams came true.__  
><em>_Guess she gave you things__  
><em>_I didn't give to you_

Well this is awkward. I'm standing here, my hand resting on a picket gate, staring at the address printed in Carly's neat print compared to the one on the letter box beside me. This doesn't compute. This is _not_the place I had imagined you to be living in. Fidgeting I glanced back at the house, wondering if I should walk up that path and see you…or should I- wait. Cursed feet. Leading me straight back to you. I really hope that you won't be mad.

_Old friend__  
><em>_Why are you so shy?__  
><em>_Ain't like you to hold back__  
><em>_Or hide from the light_

_I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited__  
><em>_But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.__  
><em>_I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded__  
><em>_That for me it isn't over_

I hesitate before knocking. Will you hate me? Will you scream and curse at me? Would you even answer the door once you've looked through that peephole to see me standing here?

"Freddie?"

Or would I find you standing behind me, car keys, recently used, dangling in one hand, the other clutching the hand of a small girl. Your eyes convey your shock; you don't have to say it. I'm guessing I'm looking more and more like that nub you used to beat up way back then.

"Hey…"

Hey? Hey? Come on, beat me up, tell me how lame that line was, call me a doofus, do something! But please oh please stop staring at me all shy like. It's not you. We're friends remember?

"Hey….um," you screw your nose up in confusion, trying to process the correct thing to do in this awkward situation. I notice the wedding ring on your finger. Congrats. Carly did say you were married. When I voice this, you blush and grip the girl's hand a little tighter.

"Thanks. We're very happy together."

"Mum, who's that? What's he doing here?"

It hurts a little, to see you comfort someone else's child.

_Never mind__  
><em>_I'll find someone like you__  
><em>_I wish nothing but the best for you too__  
><em>_"Don't forget me", I begged__  
><em>_"I'll remember", you said__  
><em>_"Sometimes it lasts in love__  
><em>_But sometimes it hurts instead."__  
><em>_Sometimes it lasts in love__  
><em>_But sometimes it hurts instead,_  
><em>Yeah.<em>

"Um, this is Freddie, an old friend of mine." You tell her, and I try not to notice the hitch in your voice.

"The man from iCarly?"

"You watch iCarly?" Dangit. That just slipped out. You're glaring at me now as she bounces on her heels shyly. But it's not the same.

You shake it off and brush past me, fumbling with your keys as you try to unlock the front door. As the glass stained entrance yawns into view, you usher your daughter inside before glancing at me hesitantly.

"Would you like to come in?"

I should have said no. I should have hurried away. I should have never stepped over the threshold of someone else's den because before I know it, we're sitting with a cup of tea and an old photo album awkwardly perched between us.

_You know how the time flies__  
><em>_Only yesterday__  
><em>_It was the time of our lives__  
><em>_We were born and raised__  
><em>_In a summer haze__  
><em>_Bound by the surprise__  
><em>_Of our glory days_

"And that Maddie, is when your Momma was crowned Queen of the Fatcakes. It was a glorious moment." You grin at your stunned five year old.

"Fatcakes are the best. Did you rule wisely?"

"With all the grace and fairness of a Puckett." Oh? I shouldn't have said that? Sorry.

You flip the page and we find ourselves staring at the final picture. Our last webcast before we all split for college.

"You remember how-"

"Yeah, and then Gibby-"

"Ha, yeah. And then that-"

"Mmm."

You're smiling, that same soft smile that rarely graces your face, but sends me back to those hazy summer days at your house or at the park, the smell of fried chicken and pork ribs ever present. When we were so high on life, thinking that nothing would ever pull us down.

"Freddie?"

Again with the name. Please, just call me a nub at least once. Then I'll know that you're still the same Puckett from all those years ago.

"Yes?"

"It's getting late…do you want to stay for dinner?"

"Ah! You can meet Daddy! He should be home soon." Madison crows in delight, bounding around to stand in front of me. My heart is pounding its panicked beat as I gently push her aside and get to my feet.

"Nah, I should be going now."

"I'll walk with you to your car. Madison honey, say goodbye to Freddie and go upstairs to start your homework."

"Aww muuuum…"

"Do it."

She glares your glare, before hugging my knees with your strength. It brings tears to my eyes. As we slowly walk along the gravel back to my car, the night calm around us. You stop at the gate and let me walk on through, though I can't bring myself to take another step.

"Sam-"

"Please don't start this Freddie. We made our decisions."

"I know. Nevermind…just, please, don't forget me." It practically comes out as a beg, and yet again I'm reminded of all those years ago, with me begging on my knees for numerous reasons. A ghost of a smile twitches at your lips and you nod once.

"I'll remember." You said, "I mean, we have too many regrets and mistakes transform into memories for me to be able to forget you."

I let a small returning smile appear as you reach out and clasp my hand with yours.

"Sometimes, it lasts in love. But sometimes…it hurts instead." You whisper, and this time, there's no regret in your face.

_I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited_  
><em>But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.<em>  
><em>I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded<em>  
><em>That for me it isn't over.<em>

_Never mind_  
><em>I'll find someone like you<em>  
><em>I wish nothing but the best for you too<em>  
><em>"Don't forget me", I begged<em>  
><em>"I'll remember", you said<em>  
><em>"Sometimes it lasts in love<em>  
><em>But sometimes it hurts instead."<em>

_Nothing compares_  
><em>No worries or cares<em>  
><em>Regrets and mistakes<em>  
><em>They are memories made.<em>  
><em>Who would have known<em>  
><em>How bittersweet this would taste?<em>

_Never mind_  
><em>I'll find someone like you<em>  
><em>I wish nothing but the best for you too<em>  
><em>"Don't forget me", I begged<em>  
><em>"I'll remember", you said<em>  
><em>"Sometimes it lasts in love<em>  
><em>But sometimes it hurts instead"<em>

_Never mind_  
><em>I'll find someone like you<em>  
><em>I wish nothing but the best for you too<em>  
><em>"Don't forget me", I begged<em>  
><em>"I'll remember", you said<em>  
><em>"Sometimes it lasts in love<em>  
><em>But sometimes it hurts instead"<em>

_Sometimes it lasts in love_  
><em>But sometimes it hurts instead<em>


End file.
